The '90's are now Retro, but I do not want to relive them.

This post is inspired by and dedicated to the fabulous Edenland. She is a new blogging/Twitter friend of mine who I’ve actually met in the flesh. We were chatting away on Twitter and we think we may have also met at some dirty, seedy night club in the debaucherous 90’s. I set Edenland the task of choosing this posts subject matter; she went with how the 90’s are now retro even though they only seem like yesterday. Lets hope I do it justice!

It’s weird to think about the 90’s cause I really can’t put my finger on any distinct trends – in music or fashion. I know I had a ball but what I was wearing or listening to is beyond me. The 80’s is a walk in the park with all that brightly coloured shit, should pads, power dressing and pop music. They stick very clear in my memory. The 90’s I’m not so sure. It’s a mixed bag. This could be because it was a decade of excess and I remember very little. There were two very distinct periods for me in the 90’s which says much more about my ‘personal journey’ than what the 90’s were about. They were the Uni days and the Sydney days.

University: ’92 - ‘96

I went to Uni in Bathurst, had no money, and was slowly working out if I had any personal style at all. I certainly had none when I started there. Country Road was exotic, cutting edge fashion for me before I went to Uni. I got in touch with my care-free hippie side and used to wear my pyjama pants to class with RM Williams boots. I’d buy hemp jackets at the markets and team it with a dress shirt from Vinnies. We all did! Uni at Bathurst was this weird mix of country style, city chic and a wannabe-bohemian alternative style. Not having a clue what or who I was I dipped my toe in everywhere. I was from the country, destined for Sydney and living the classic student life so I had to cover all my bases. Also, living on Austudy means you really don’t have much choice to follow fashion. A shirt at Vinnies for $2 lasted me about 5 years, I was still wearing it out on Oxford St many years later.

There were two albums that were released while I was at Uni that if you didn’t know all the words to than you may as well kill yourself. Alanis Morrisette’s Jagged Little Pill and Oasis’ WonderWall. They, along with Peter Andre, are the only music releases that stick in my mind from that time. Having said that, my whole life I’ve never been very good with music. The only constant has been the beautiful Madonna who had a number of key releases during this period. I still adore her today. We used to dress up in our Saturday night best to dance at a League’s Club. That about says it all of my musical awareness in the early 90’s.

So now that the 90’s are considered Retro there is very little I want to drag into 2011 with me from this time of my life. Except of course Madonna.

Syd-er-ney! ’96 - ‘00

When I first arrived in Sydney I was still wearing this weird mix of styles from my Uni days. I reckon within 2 months of my first pay check I’d had the complete Oxford St make-over! Out went the hemp jackets and in came lycra. By ’97 I swear there was not one natural fibre in my entire wardrobe. The late ‘90’s on Oxford St were heaven to me. I used to go out on my own and come home with 100 friends all while wearing my cutting edge lime green satin pants with a skin-tight royal purple lycra T. I had started work in PR and to think back now what my bosses must have thought of my ‘business’ clothes makes me cringe. Shiney black shoes with big buckles. An olive synthetic Morrissey suit with zippers worn over a shoe-string singlet to an Awards night. Flourescent shirts with a skinny-legged powder blue pant. I can not tell you how hot I thought I was.

The only music I remember was the bubble-gum dance music of The Flinders and The Albury. By the late-late ‘90’s I’d started to go a bit more hardcore with big weekend at DCM’s, or as we called it Gorilla’s In The Mist, and the downright dangerous BlackMarket (and this is where Edenland and I think we may have met). For these nights of craziness it was head-to-toe black synthetic teamed with chunky silver jewellery. Today this jewellery would not pass through a metal detector, back then guns would get by. My favourite album without a doubt was Sash!’s It’s My Life with the epic track Ecuador. That song could raise the dead.

The late 90’s were a special time for me, still such a big part of who I am today. But even with that sentimental attachment I do not ever want a synthetic wardrobe again. My skin would revolt. And for me to hit Oxford street now in anything as tight-fitting as lycra would have me stoned. Love-handles are difficult to squeeze into a Small women’s disco top like I could in ‘97. The 90’s may now be retro but there is no trend from that time that I want to have make a fashionable comeback. I remember them fondly but do not want to relive. That’s how I think of the ‘90’s.

**Now my dear Edenland has one of the best bloggers you will ever read. It's impossible to do her justice by trying to describe why. It's her life laid bare and it's a truly beautiful thing. Please take a look...

Edenland

**Sorry about the boring pics -  besides Edenland - computer download issues over weekend.

Bangers! Whatcha got for me?

In just over a week I will have landed in Bangers! No better place to spend your 39^th Birthday than Bangkok.

I’m fleeing the city for the big day cause there ain’t much to celebrate at 39. That’s not because I’m unhappy or anything, but with the huge celebration of my 40^th fast approaching, anything this year pales in comparison. I want to save all my party-fever for next year’s extravaganza. Oh its gonna be massive. 4-0 deserves nothing less.

So for this year I’m sneaking off to Bangers for a lazy 6 days of shopping, eating and drinking just to be completely self-indulgent. Have booked into a fabulous hotel, the Lebua Tower Club. You may recognise it from The Hangover 2 cause that’s where it’s set. I am going to be SOOOOO South-East Asian glamorous!

Lebua Sky Bar

But I need your help. I have only ever spent 24 hours in Bangers so I’m not really sure to do with my time there. I need your tips and recommendations. Like I said, I want to be completely self-indulgent, so here are the kind of places I’m looking for…

* Fabulous, gorgeous day spas

* Beautiful restaurants

* Shopping centres that sell everything you could possibly want to buy

* Bars that are crammed full of gorgeous people

* Nightclubs that make me look pretty

Now having said that, there are also things that I am NOT looking for…

* Any act that involves a ping-pong ball

* Any bar where you slip someone money for anything other than a drink

* I do not want to have “now is that a man or a woman?” go through my mind

Flood me with your hot tips and recommendations. I’m up for anything as long as it is a little extravagant or too much fun to handle.

Would love to hear what you think!

Thanks all, appreciate your help.

xoxoxo

Shelley Argent Rocks My World!

I have a new Heroine! Move over Madonna cause there is a new No. 1 in my life.

Her name is Shelley Argent and I think she is just the most amazing woman I’ve ever known of; and I’ve only known of her for 24 hours. How’s that for having an impact. Let me tell you the story.

Shelley Argent

All started yesterday afternoon when a dear colleague was filling me in on the new Gay Marriage ad she’d seen – it reminded her of me. See I am incredibly passionate about the legalisation of gay marriage and equality for homosexuals. Anyone who’s been to this page before will know that. My blood boils every time I think that in 2011 I am still discriminated against by my government. I don’t care what the church or religious organisations think or believe, only my government. They are the catalyst for change.

There is nothing YouTube can’t provide you with, nothing. Had the video in 10secs, here it is…

I loved ‘the mum’ instantly, and I of course loved her message. But what struck me about it is that Shelley Argent OAM herself had ‘”spoken and authorised” it. Who is this woman? What is she about? How do I not know about her?

Another quick search and I learnt Mummy Argent has been at this for a while. Here is her ad from Sept 2009 directed at then PM Kevin Rudd.

With each moment this woman is becoming more and more my hero. But I want to know more. Google I go, here is her amazing bio from when she was the Queensland Senior Australian of the Year 2011! My Anna Bligh never lets me down.

"Shelley Argent’s path to becoming one of Australia’s most successful advocates for gay and lesbian rights began in 1998 when her son told her that he was gay. Determined that he not be considered a second-rate citizen, she has devoted herself to encouraging understanding and acceptance of all gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. Shelley immediately became an education volunteer with the then Queensland AIDS Council and completed studies to gain competencies in HIV/AIDS education and emotional support. When she came across Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), which was not particularly active at the time, she reinvigorated the organisation and became its driving force. As its current President she offers support and information to families and friends of gay and lesbian people. When her son first came out she discovered there were very few resources or written material for families, so she began writing a series of educational booklets. Shelley is a courageous and loving mother who has not only supported her own son, but has also been a leader and great support to other families. She is working for a world where her son can enjoy the same rights, respect and privileges as everyone else. ."

Not only is she a fierce advocate for gay marriage but Mummy Argent also RUNS PFLAG IN QUEENSLAND! This warms my heart beyond belief. PFLAG are a truly special organisation and the work they do with the families of gays and lesbians is priceless. This woman is a saint in my eyes.

And just when you think it can’t get any better… I discover that Mummy Argent had written a piece for The Punch yesterday to coincide with the broadcasting of her ad. I beg of you to take 5 minutes to read it. Every word of her piece rings so true for me. Here is one incredibly smart, passionate, considerate, contemporary woman who takes the bull by the horns. I love this piece. An excerpt…

“We parents provide our children with all of the love and support we can give. We hope to provide them with the best education and provide for their every want and need. But we can not provide our sons or daughters with equal rights. 

Only the government can do this.”

I love and adore Shelley Argent and I want to do everything I can to support her activism. In a very short space of time she has become iconic in my eyes. She is not only an amazing mum to her gay son but I dare say a fabulous mother figure to the whole gay community.

She is my new hero!

A more detailed bio on Shelley can be found here, she is an amazing woman.

I love you purple nail polish! I love you Belvedere!

This story begins and ends with Belvedere Vodka. Why, because it’s the best. Fact!

I don’t know if I’ve shared this before but I love getting my nails done. It’s a real treat. It’s a special occasion thing that I like to do and always with a splash of colour. For events such as birthdays, Xmas parties, etc, I always have a manicure and theme the colour with my outfit. Is that the gayest thing you’ve ever heard? I hope so.

I have the divine Miss Melbourne staying at Man Pit this weekend and whenever she’s in town we pop ourselves off for mani/pedi’s cause that’s how the glamour-set role. We normally go to Lily’s but again today they couldn’t fit us in – and to think we made that place! – so instead we hit Deluxe Nails on Crown. Their chairs aren’t as comfy but they do have a quality OPI selection. And they do a decent nail.

This time I’ve decided on a vibrant purple as it’s my current ‘it’ colour. And I’d already planned my Saturday night wardrobe around it. Miss M has taught me that we only do OPI polish, it’s the best, and my shade of purple is called Can You Dig It?.  Oh yes I can, its heaven.

I did feel sorry for the poor woman when she whipped out the scraper-thing that cleans under your nails. Had a brief moment when I was shit scared what she’d find or what smell she’d trigger but no need for concern, my hygiene appears to be better than I’d suspected. The best part about a manicure is the hand massage. At Lily’s they go right up your arm but today I only got a token finger pull. Lucky I didn’t fart.

Now this is a very polished polish application! You can see my eagerness from fingertip to wrist. Purple is a truly brilliant colour and I swear it brings out the chocolate brown of my eyes. I’m practically a supermodel in purple nail polish. Such a shame it’s not more socially and professionally accepted for men to wear nail polish, such a shame. If it was I’d have a different colour every week. Instead I’ll be off to Coles for some nail polish remover later today so that I am back to my corporatish yuppie-wannabe self by Monday 9am to re-enter the work environment.

Miss Melbourne is very happy with her shellacking. And no it’s not the shellacking your dirty mind is thinking. It’s a new polish technique that lasts longer. Miss M has gone with a dramatic dark deep greyish colour. I’m calling it Midnight On A Winters Eclipse for the sake of this blog. Now I don’t want to alarm you but my purple obsession is getting a little ridiculous. Not long ago I found myself on a plane with purple shoes, purple watch and purple T’shirt. Look at my combination yesterday after Deluxe had worked there magic…

To celebrate our new nail colour we bought some of our favourite vodka, Belvedere, to toast our glamorousness! We are quite the vodka connoisseurs Miss M and I and there is no question that Belvedere is our best friend. Yes it may coast a little extra but the smoothness is so worth it. To say nothing of the fact it DOES NOT GIVE YOU A HANGOVER! That’s how smooth my dear Belvedere is. Worth every cent! Plus, we we're having people over last night and I wanted them to think I'm posh.

Nothing makes me happier than sipping Belvedere on the balcony of Man pit with its gorgeous city views and admiring my beautiful purple nail polish with Miss Melbourne beside me. Gay much?

I love you purple nail polish!

I love you Belvedere!

Great News! Uganda's parliament takes no action on anti-gay bill

I like to think that we've all made a little difference today.





Lots of emailing and blogging of late about the horrid situation in Ugandan where there was the potential for a law to be introduced that could mean death penalty for homosexual acts.





Parliament wrapped up yesterday and the Bill didn't make it to a vote. While the Bill is not completely dead it now needs to start the long road all over again before it can become law, such is the way Ugandan parliament works.

Gay activist David Kato killed in January

The story of murdered Ugandan activist David Kato and the worldwide call for petition signatures are both things I've banged on about before, so it is a great relief to know that the gay community in Uganda does not live under this threat, at least for the time being. They still have unbelievable discrimination issues so they so there is still a long way to go.





To read more, here is some of the coverage today...





CNN

BBC News

Forbes

Global Post (great read)





And just finally, so impressed that Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd came out in opposition to this. Very impressed that it was on his radar. Thanks Kev!





ABC News story on Rudd's condemnation of Uganda's anti-gay bill.





Thanks all.

Death Penalty for citizens who repeatedly “practice homosexuality”!

I've talked about David Kato here before, and its time again to revisit his story. He was killed in Uganda for being gay after a 'name and shame' campaign by local papers, which is so disturbing I'm lost for words. But the Ugandan Parliament is still trying to pass laws that could see gays and lesbians being hung for being born this way. So while I sit here in the eastern suburbs of Sydney leading what can only be described as a 'flamboyantly gay' lifestyle, it breaks my heart that I have it so good while other men and women face the threat of death for loving who they love. Please take a minute to read this letter from the Avaaz Organisation and sign their petition. A small way to make a difference....

Hanged for being gay – two days to act!

Dear friends,

David Kato, murdered Ugandan gay rights activist In two days, the Ugandan Parliament could pass a brutal hate law that would impose the death penalty on citizens who repeatedly “practice homosexuality.” If we can keep this law from reaching a vote this week, it will die when Parliament closes on May 12th. Click below to sign the petition, then forward to everyone:

In two days, Uganda could legalize the murder of gays and lesbians. Parliament is on the verge of passing a brutal hate law that would impose the death penalty on citizens who repeatedly “practice homosexuality.”



Last year, a massive outcry of citizens from around the world helped shelve this same bill. But, political unrest is mounting in Uganda, and religious extremists in Parliament are hoping the confusion and violence will distract the international community from a second effort to pass a bill legalizing the murder of gay Ugandans. If we can keep this hate-filled law from reaching a vote this week, it will die when Parliament closes on May 12th and all current bills are scrapped.



Frank Mugisha, a close friend and gay rights activist in Uganda, wrote to us today, "If this bill passes there is going to be more harassment, and more bashing and violence in the streets. This anti-gay bill will turn Uganda into a police state where we can't speak out, can't express ourselves, and we won't even be able to live here without being thrown in jail or hanged. Please help". With only 2 days to go until the closing of Parliament, we don’t have a moment to lose. Let’s build a huge petition to stop the gay death penalty and protect Frank and his community from a brutal government crackdown -- click here to take action, then forward this email widely:



http://www.avaaz.org/en/uganda_stop_homophobia_petition/?vl



For Frank and thousands of others, being gay in Uganda is already dangerous and terrifying. They are regularly harassed and beaten, and just months ago, Avaaz colleague and gay rights activist, David Kato (pictured above), was brutally murdered in his own home. Now LGBT Ugandans are threatened by this draconian law which imposes life imprisonment for people convicted of same-sex relations and the death penalty for “serial offenders”. Even NGOs working to prevent the spread of HIV can be imprisoned for “promoting homosexuality” under this hate-filled law.



Proponents of the bill claim that it defends national culture, but this culture of intolerance did not happen by accident. In the last decade, powerful religious figures, backed by US radical religious groups have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to instill homophobia in Ugandan communities, and drive abroad messages of fear, hate and violence.



These extremists preach a message of hate which is a far from the the christian values many Ugandans are taught and that are enshrined in the country’s constitution which guarantees freedom of expression, thought, and a right to life. In the next 48 hours, let’s build a massive international outcry in support of respect for human rights, justice and tolerance. Together we can save lives by stopping this bill -- sign now here, then tell friends and family:



http://www.avaaz.org/en/uganda_stop_homophobia_petition/?vl



Earlier this year, we stood in solidarity with Uganda's equality movement to show that all life, no matter creed, nationality or sexual orientation, is equally precious. Together, we shelved this hate-filled bill the first time it was presented to Parliament. Then, when a tabloid newspaper published 100 names, pictures and addresses, of suspected gays and those identified were threatened, Avaaz supported a legal case against the paper and we won! We proved that, when hundreds of thousands of us come together in solidarity and with purpose, we have the power to change the world for the better. Let’s renew our commitment to the fight for equality in Uganda, and prevent any further bloodshed:



http://www.avaaz.org/en/uganda_stop_homophobia_petition/?vl



With hope and determination,



Emma, Iain, Alice, Morgan, Brianna and the rest of the Avaaz team





SOURCES:



Ugandan lawmakers hold hearings on anti-gay bill

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article



Uganda gay activist Kasha Jacqueline Nabagesera hailed

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-13278374



Pulling Out All the Stops to Push an Antigay Bill

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/14/world/africa/14uganda.html

Note from St. Murphy: After much talking-up of 'Fashion Spread' I promise it will be tomorrow's post. With only two days to go before Ugandan Parliament shuts down the work of Avaaz

The Rules of Man Pit

Now I’ve affectionately named my new pad the Man Pit. It's stuck, I love it, I’m gonna keep using it. The reason I’m calling it the Man Pit is that I’ve set about decorating it so that it is age-appropriate and hopefully suggests I’ve got my shit together. I’m not a 26 year old tv publicist anymore (…hang on???), rather a man of a certain age who knows what he’s about. And I wanted it to be more butch, Masters student rather than my usual 14yo schoolgirl routine.

So that I maintain this new persona for me and my pad I’ve had to lay down some ground rules. They are mostly for myself but some are appropriate for my friends and family who’ll visit me here. Now that I’m being a big brave boy and standing on my own two feet I think rules are important. Also, living with a partner is all about compromise, which is a beautiful thing when you're in love. Now that I’m on my own I’m loving putting my own big stamp on everything! Here are the Rules!

The couch is for watching television. The Man Chair is for the reading of books and looking intellectual.

Clinique Mens products only for the skin. A man of a certain age needs to take care, only a few good years left in me before the necessary facelift.

No vegetarians allowed! I eat red meat in two out of three meals a day. I’m a country gay bogan and loves me some red meat.

Tracksuit or ‘comfy’ pants are only allowed on recovery days, and definitely never in front of guests. A recovery day is the distinguished way of saying ‘hungover stuck on the couch holding your head in pain’.

Cigerettes to be smoked on the balcony. Only cigars can be smoked inside and even then only when sitting in the Man Chair (btw, never had a cigar in my life but feel I need one in this chair).

If the freezer is full and room needs to be made than you take out the BirdsEye frozen peas, NEVER the vodka.

No scales allowed. The mirror and my skinny jeans are enough to tell me I am expanding like a Sumo wrestler.

Clean as you go! My natural tendency is to live like a Uni student, not gonna happen at Man Pit.

Only crime shows – all Law & Orders, Criminal Minds, NCIS Los Angeles, etc – can be recorded on the Foxtel IQ. Nothing from the MTV channel will be recorded. EVER!

Please note L&O on the big screen

There is a colour palette that must be adhered too – silver, blue, black, brown and white. Unless of course its one of my themed weeks -  Xmas, Mardi Gras, my birthday and Sleaze Ball.

No burning your dinner. Having your bed so close to the kitchen makes your sheets smell like steak.

There is a loose shelf-ordering system for the bookcase – gay lit, crime and classics, favourites and texts. Books make you look smart, they make up for my wardrobe.

Accessories have their own drawers in the wardrobe. Scarves, hats, sunglasses, redundant sports gear all have their own drawer.

Remote controls left on coffee table at all times. Simple really. Nothing worse than having to walk 3metres to pick up the remote.





Only white crockery. Not sure why this is a rule but it looks better on the exposed shelves. Cleanliness is next to godliness.

Over & out.

To be advised: I need something for the walls that suggests I know something about art. Even happy for a splash of colour. If anyone has any advice it will be happily taken.

In good news: I got my mojo back this week! After two months of being weird and intolerable, yesterday I felt like my old self again for the first time. Phew!

ROADTRIP: Priscilla Queen of Cobar

I love airports and I love planes! I've packed up my Clinique Men's range, headband and a suitcase of accessories and I'm heading 800km west of the Ghetto. But I always get a little nervous when you have to walk across the tarmac to get to your seat. Never a good sign…

Truth be known, I was asleep before take-off so the size of the plane was hardly a concern. I was off on a little jet plane to Dubbo for the first leg of my journey out west for Bro’s wedding. This first leg was the easy part, slept like a baby, the second part was a little more difficult but so much more interesting.

Picked up my hire car and my first Red Bull at Dubbo airport. Chookas to the lovely Budget Car woman who remembered me from last time. She is so sweet, and it was her wedding anniversary so extra love her way. And as she did for me last time, she wrote down the order of the towns that I had to drive through. Most important of the directions is the road selection at Nyngan – “veer left not right or you’ll end up in Bourke. This is not good.”

My 'virgin' beast!

So with the very handy list from Budget Lady I was off in my Hyundai i30, it had a grand total 36km on it so I’ve broken that baby in. I didn’t make it far before I needed a snack. Picked up a heavenly Chiko Role in Trangie as well as my second Red Bull. It’s 10.30am. Nothing like a hearty, well-balanced breakfast to start your day.

Now just before you hit Nyngan there is a gigantic sign welcoming you to the Bogan Shire – you can imagine how welcome that made me feel. I think I should have been born here! I am a very proud bogan, bogan to the core, and the gayest bogan of the bogan gays. I feel this is my homeland here in Bogan Shire. SO wish I had of got a pic of it. Stopped in Nyngan for more food and Red Bull, starting to see a pattern here??? I stop at the same place each time cause they have this gorgeous, quirky and slightly weird knick-knack collection on display….

Now after Nyngan the road gets even straighter and flatter (if that’s possible) and you lose all radio contact. Popped on my iPod, pre-charged and stocked in preperation. Did some BRILLIANT car-singing, some of my best ever! It was Whitney Houston’s Bodyguard soundtrack. Now seriously, at her peak the now crack-riddled Whitney was a genius! GENIUS! I’m Every Woman, Run To You, I Will Always Love You and Queen of the Night – I hit every note + plus key changes! I was successfully channelling Delta Goodrem.

No one can hear me out here!

Now on this long straight road where it seems you can travel at the speed of light, they seemed to have whacked up some stop lights for no apparent reason. Sat here on red for 5 minutes. Not really sure what I’d stopped for, but a red light is a red light. Go figure.

I had earlier bumped into a bikie gang at the Nyngan bakery. As always when I see/smell bikies it’s a strange mix of fear and arousal. They overtook my on the open road which had elements of Jodie Foster in The Accused. I tried to get a pic of them passing me, god only knows why. Probably should have been focused on not hitting them.

I had one more brief stop for a ciggie and then hit fabulous Cobar! For such a remote place, this place ROCKS! I always have a ball here. Those miners know how to enjoy themselves when they are above ground. Drinking here is something very different to home. Oxford St is a poor training ground for Cobar. I will give it my best this weekend though, my Bro deserves nothing less.

Priscilla Queen of Cobar has Arrived!

It's a sad day.

It’s a sad day. Very sad. I don’t really have the energy to sugarcoat it today or try for some cheap gags. Its just plain and simple a sad day.

Today I move out of our little house and for the first time in 6 years I am on my own. I move in to my new bachelor pad today and begin a new chapter. There’s some great and exciting stuff about this but for today I am feeling like a sentimental old fool saying goodbye to some really good times and a relationship that was the longest and strongest of my life.

How can you not get all emotional at a time like this? I think irrelevant of the circumstances its always hard when something comes to an end. Especially something that has had such an impact on you and literally changed your life like my relationship with exBoyfriend has. But all good things come to an end for a reason. It’s the right time for us to go our separate ways. I think its human nature though, certainly it is for me, to reminisce at a time like this. And that’s what makes me sad.

We had it so good for so long. Such great memories. Great friends and families, exciting holidays, brilliants homes, so much fun. So thankful that we’ve had not one ugly moment that detracts from those memories. And the boys, Jackson and Sam. Damn I’m gonna miss all of that. And exBoyfriend is a great man. I have nothing but total respect for him. We taught each other so much and learnt so much together. There is going to be a gaping, huge hole in my life without him in it day-to-day. I will miss him unbelievably.

But talk about life going full-circle! I first moved to Sydney in 1996 not knowing anyone. I rented a shoebox studio on Crown St in Darlinghurst and began my life here. Lived on my own for two years while finding my feet in the big-smoke and then have shared a house ever since. 15 years later I am back on Crown St living on my own; thank god the apartment is nicer and bigger this time.

A big part of me is so excited about this new adventure. It’s going to be very cool. But for today I can’t help but be sad. Sad because of what is coming to an end.

Thank you so much Ash, I will be forever grateful for the last 6 years. 

**Sorry, no comments today, this one was for my own therapy, not to get a reaction. x

The Congregation of the Gayers!

The Westboro Baptist Church makes my skin crawl and vomit rise in my throat!

They are vile, vile people who hate everyone and anyone. In particular the gayers.

They were in the news again yesterday because they announced they will be protesting at Elizabeth Taylor’s funeral. They are picketing it because Dame Elizabeth had gay friends and raised money for AIDS research. See, the Westboro Baptist Church wishes death upon all gayers and that AIDS is Gods answer to homosexuals; such a smart, open, accepting, moderate religion.

Charming.

But they seem to get huge volumes of media attention, mostly because they picket at so many events, all of them controversial. Their favourite is to disrupt a funeral! Thos could be the funerals of soldiers, gays or anyone else they think can generate some attention for themselves. Like I said they are literally the devil incarnate.

I got all fired up over them again yesterday so decided to do some research! THEY ARE A CHURCH THAT HAS 71 MEMBERS!!!!!!! And most of them are from the one family!!!!  Most governing bodies in the US do not consider them a church but rather a ‘hate group’. A group of 71 deranged fanatical lunatics that aren’t considered an actual church generate all this media attention – it astounds me.

If the WBC can do it with 71members, so can I! I can beat that. I am starting my very own religion…

The Congregation of the Gayers!

Much celebrated Congregation icon.

At The Congregation of the Gayers there is no singing of hymns, we only do hims.

There will be no crucifix in The Congregation of the Gayers, we would much rather get nailed up the Cross.

Jesus walked on water. The Gayers have more class than that, we can walk on Vodka.

We have huge religious celebrations called Dance Parties where we celebrate diversity while wearing strange costumes and headgear (but with loads more colour than priests).

One of our Annual religious festivals

Our services will not be held at an ungodly hour on a Sunday morning, that’s not when we are at our best. Rather at 6pm on a Thursday just at the start of our weekend.

Don’t even ask what it means to drop to your knees in The Congregation of the Gayers.

The traditional role of the Tabernacle Choir will be performed by the Nab-your-tackle Choir.

Our 12 Disciples are Tom Ford, Madonna, Cher, Kylie, BMW, AussieBums, DNA, Fitness First, Louis Vuitton, Tamarama, Arq and Grey Goose.

A prominent and much-loved disciple

We do not send the young to Sunday School, we send them to a clearance sale at Industrie.

But of course, conception would be an IMMACULATE COLLECTION! (and you had better have got that Madonna reference or we can no longer be friends)

But most importantly…

The Congregation of the Gayers believes that love is love, doesn’t matter between who. Diversity makes the world go round. All couples are recognised and celebrated in our congregation.

Take that you Westboro Baptist Church bitches! My new religion shits all over yours!

And I bet I can find more the 71 members.





**Special thanks to @JoThornely for her divine inspiration and knowledge of dirty-talk used in this piece.

Forget manbags. I want a handbag!

Why is it socially acceptable for women to carry gorgeous big handbags but not men? Why can’t I carry a Marc Jacobs tote or a beautiful Chanel? It is an outrage that I’d be mocked incessantly if I did.





This injustice has been upsetting me for years, both for practical and aesthetic reasons. Gone are the days a man can get by with just wallet in back pocket, keys in the front. I carry so much shit around with me that I need a bag, and a decent sized one at that. And manbags, as a general rule, are boring, ugly, bland things that scream ‘try-hard briefcase’. Women’s handbags are beautiful pieces of art and fashion.

Gorgeous Marc

I ache for a bag with loads more colour and personality! Something with tassels, embroidery or a solid gold chain. I want a bag that says something about me other than “my day job is a banker-wanker”. Not all men are serious business-types. I want a handbag that says sexy, masculine, living-life-on-the-(gay)-edge. With quilt stitching.

Ahhhh.... Chanel

Now I’m all fired up about this today as my two leading ladies, my mentors & goddesses, both blogged about handbags this week. StylingYou has solved the fashion v’s practical dilemma for women and Mrs Woog has bared far too much by itemizing her handbag contents. Both have rubbed it in my face that I am a second-class citizen who can’t carry a Burberry. Isn’t it bad enough I can’t get married, now this inequality as well. Too much.

Why does everyone presume that all men are intuitively corporate and like a bag that is the exact shape of their laptop? And there is absolutely no variation on the dull as batshit brown or black. Even just a splash of colour would make me happier. Its not like we are choosing bags that are appropriate for a funeral, we’re talking about everyday use here. C’mon luxury labels and men’s designers – give me something more to choose from.

Yawn...

My current handbag has a shimmer to it and is quite elegant/sporty. Its just a little something I picked up in Paris. But its still black and is possibly designed for the younger man (so un-me to try and dress younger than I am!). And it is absolutely crammed full of crap; change, keys, charger, diary, Nicobate patches, Zantac, discs, Berocca, nut bars, and those lovely tuna-dip things that I’m currently addicted to. I got alotta stuff that I need to have with me at all times. A decent-sized bag is essential.

My current handbag

And don’t even get me started on wallets. Many years ago I upgraded from the traditional men’s wallet to what can only be described as a purse. Everything in life these days requires a card so I need the slot room. I bought my purse in the ladies section of a Bangkok department store. “Yes, it’s a gift” I shamefully said to the shop assistant. But I shall be ashamed no more!

My purse.

So to summarise I just don’t feel the men’s fashion industry has …

A) Kept apace with the dramatic increase in the volume of shit men now need to carry, and…

B) Realised that some men like a bit of personality in their leather-goods.

Most importantly, society should be more accepting of those men who want and need to carry a Coach.

Today I officially start my campaign for it to be socially acceptable for men to carry big glamorous handbags that have tassels.

Join with me men! Handbags for all!